Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
