Your face is a jimmy john
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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