Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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