Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
