Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
