She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
