i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize