thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
