I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
