Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
