ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
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until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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