So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Randomize
