I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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