He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
