Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
