that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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