She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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