I just pynch a tree in the face
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
