Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
