4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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