you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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