Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
