theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
