I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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