yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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