Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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