You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
