i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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