he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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