Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
