why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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