The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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