guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The ass gains better be worth it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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