You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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