and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
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The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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