spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
