Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
