Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize