YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
