Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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