Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
