I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
