do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
