I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
