This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We left the knife in your bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
