Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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