I think I am morally bankrupt
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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