Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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