I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I will die if light touches me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
