is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
