can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
