there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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