So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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