Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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