every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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