I have demons in me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
