I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
