I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
