This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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