It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
