But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
