try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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