guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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