yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
